Goal

11 goals for 2018

I have made some goals instead of New Year’s resolutions for 2018 (maybe they are the same thing?) it will be interesting to look back because I usually set unrealistic goals and have given up by 3rd January but this year I’m going give it a go and be realistic.

  • To finish Harry Potter and the Philsopher’s stone book that I have been reading to Joe before bed. We only get through a couple of pages at a time with questions about everything, “Is he a goody or a baddie” ” What’s Hogwarts?” “Who is Harry?” I particularly like that every time I say ” he who can’t named” he says “Donald Trump?”. I’m not sure where that has come from?
  • This should probably be the first goal but keeping the kids fed, well and happy.
  • Not to be a twat about things and wallow in self pity, when I gave up my job to become a stay at home mum I did walk around in a grump for a couple of months muttering to myself at time of tantrums “I’ve given up 15 years of a career for you” but now I realise how lucky I am to be in this position.
  • Take a creative writing course so my husband doesn’t have to proof read everything I write/ramble on about.
  • To achieve the perfect milk levels in the house so my husband is not making a regular trip to the shop at night for milk. Also to do an online shop without forgetting something.
  • Drive to Bluewater, now this seems a bit strange but I do have anxiety about driving and its got to stop as I could be doing some serious shopping instead of ordering from M&S online.
  • Not to lose every lid of my Tupperware.
  • Take the children on one day trip a month. Now my children don’t get out that much as I have the attitude that it’s loads of effort for not much return. So yes Joe and Grace you will get to go to the Zoo for the first time. Any good suggestions?
  • Get through the terrible twos……..starts 31st Jan……wish me luck.
  • Stay the size I am now, not because I think I need to lose or gain weight but mainly because I have had a massive clear out of clothes and I won’t have any clothes if I change from this size.
  • Paint the Ikea stool and Stokke chairs……………..I’m willing to let this one go.

What’s your plan for 2018? If you have one? It might just be winging it and that works for me if it works for you.

Working friends

Working mum to stay at home mum

I have been both a working mum and now I am a stay at home mum (SAHM).

When I had Joe I went back to work after 11 months and everything worked well. I worked in a job share with a guy who also had children and we both did three days each. He covered both of my maternity leaves so the continuity was there. When I returned the second time he left to pursue his career as the next Ed Sheeran, something he always wanted to do, which is amazing, go CHRIS!

I always knew it was going to be hard going back the second time as an extra person to the family dynamic makes it tricky. My company honoured my three days a week and were very accommodating and offered flexible working.  I had long days and shorter days so I could be around as much as possible.

Leaving my job was not a decision I took lightly and quite frankly something I thought I would never do as I LOVED my job and LOVED working but after some careful consideration it seemed the right time to become a stay at home mum. I believe my company would of offered more flexible working but I knew that my job needed to be done in the office and would almost become redundant if I was to do it from home. My job was the Head of Scheduling in a post production company that makes adverts. I was the person that would solve people problems and get adverts delivered on time by finding creative ways of “creating” time when there wasn’t any.  This was a face to face job which couldn’t really be done on the phone or over email, so for me working from home wasn’t going to work and I felt I would just end up doing two jobs badly. We worked out how we could survive because after commuting, childcare and my addiction to Itsu and the odd Friday lunch tipple the figures where doable, so we took the plunge.

As in any new job it can take a few months to get up and running so here are some ways I’ve settled myself into becoming at SAHM.

Accepting I’m not Supermum 

My expectations did not meet the reality, I thought the freezer would be full of home cooked meals, I would paint furniture (never have I done this before), fit in five gym classes a week, create an amazing healthy eating plan that I would rotate every 3 weeks, and quite frankly it hasn’t happened. The food shop still arrives with the quick fix meals and I still always forget something, every bloody time. I’ve given up trying to make furniture nice as there is always a child defacing it with stickers, crayons or dirty hands. I do make it down the gym but it’s not five times a week and most importantly after a bit of time I’ve said this is ok to myself.

I’ve made some new mates

I’ve filled my work friends gap by seeing my friends more and making new mates that are in the same situation. I feel this is a pretty natural thing to do in life as you are drawn to people who you share common interests to you. Luckily Mums the word online popped up at the right time and now I wasn’t working I could attend more of the Mama meet up day events. They always hit the nail on the head with their speakers, they really do smash it out everytime. So as you all know my hobby is writing this blog which can be a bit of a lonely world unless you actually meet other bloggers!

Instagram, now if someone had said to me you would be going out for a drinks night with someone you met on the Instagram a year ago I wouldn’t of believed them but this has actually happened and it was bloody great. These “getting to know other mums like you” with a glass of fizz are popping up all over the place, to name a few Lorna who does a great event called PIZZ UP   based in South West London and in the South East Mama Mixers.

It’s the little things that count 

When your boss is yourself a little inner self praise is good for the soul.  The other day I said to my husband “I have simple goals these days if my children have brushed their teeth, eaten food, and slept I’m happy” because quite frankly this is not achieved everyday.

Write lists, lot of lists

So when I was working I would have lists of lists etc and work through these lists to get the job done. When I first started out as a SAHM I was always trying to do everything at once and obviously I couldn’t achieve this so I’ve started using the   Bullet Journal concept to get organised and even though I don’t use it to the levels others have it has really helped.

The soundtrack to my life 

I really enjoy music of any type really, I used to listen to it on my commute but now the commute has gone I’ve started to inflict my musical taste on the kids more and they actually quite like it, I can’t sit in a silent house there always has to be sound in some shape or another.

So this is the phase I find myself in now and it’s going ok, I will be honest I don’t really know what is the next phase is but I’m just enjoying it whilst it lasts.

Photo of my leaving drinks with Disco Dave and Pillababes AKA Top Table.

My reasons why I don’t have Mum guilt

That feeling of mum guilt is something I think everyone feels once or twice in their lives as parents. However, I have learnt how to deal with my mum guilt (well most of it) by remembering the more challenging parts of parenting and reminding myself I should enjoy this guilt free time.

Here are my top 9 reasons why I don’t have mum guilt;

• Chicken Pox – We have had this three times in our house and I only have two children. The first time round it was when my eldest (Joe) was 3 and the youngest (Grace) was 6 weeks, we were contagious and house bound for about three weeks, it was a tough time.

• For the broken glass in the back door after I said “don’t throw stones”. Yes this happened but on the plus side I have been using this quite a bit. For example “Please don’t climb up there you might fall” he still climbs “do you remember that time when mummy said don’t throw stones and you broke the glass” he gets down and doesn’t climb anymore. Boom.

• The time I fished out a Lego head out of the toilet. When Joe was younger his reward chart toys were Lego mini figures and one day he dropped it down the toilet in his poo, he was so upset as he had worked really hard, I took a deep breath and fished that Lego head out.

Continue reading