I seriously question my parenting skills from the 1st child to the 2nd child, I have either given up and just winged it or I’m so far gone from a normal childless functioning person that I just don’t understand what it would be like to have a lie in, wee on my own and get bored.
It’s obviously a lot easier as child number 2 just feeds, plays, sleeps, repeat and as long as you time most things around this cycle it works, you can go to the shops but you do have the added time delay of the pushchair but the advantage of no ticking tantrum time bombs. But I don’t remember the 1st time being this ok, was I the issue and not the 1st child? Here’s a list of the differences for me
- Going to weigh ins, 1st time went all the time, dreaded dressing baby in front of a health visitor as they are judging your every move (clearly not but as a 1st time mum you think they are), 2nd time taking them becomes a bit of a hassle, maybe a few times in the 1st couple of months and then it just fades away. 1st time I used weight as some kind of way of knowing you were doing ok this time its if she’s happy we are happy.
- 1st time getting out of the house, absolute mission, brought a special strap for the pushchair for my wrist as I was convinced that my hands would stop working and I would let go of the pushchair, 2nd time have been known to forget to put the brake on and she has slowly rolled off.
- 1st time going for lunch out and about (because this is what you think you will be doing all time when you are on maternity leave before you have the baby, happens very rarely) would be stressing about a routine and whether your baby might make any noise and they might even cry (!) and you just cant handle the stares. Now once you have experienced a full toddler melted down in the middle of pizza express a few tears from a baby is nothing. Once you have been in this parenting routine for a while you forget what a quiet lunch would be like and actually find it hard to sit still if you actually get a chance to be alone.
- Baby classes, 1st time I was so nervous that my baby might touch another baby or not stay awake for the full hour, I always use to compare notes with other mums, constantly comparing where my baby was on the progress table of other babies his age. Now I’m in and out, quick chats then straight back onto it and I’m jealous of these 1 baby mums but I remember at that time I found it so hard stressing about everything.
- Weaning, 1st time probably started to early, then went onto baby led weaning or baby linguine, as in the pasta (that’s what I actually thought it was called in my sleep deprived state, you could of told me anything in those days and I would of believed it). 2nd time, poor old baby gets the odd bit of food that she chucks around and then drops on the floor, but she likes it and she is happy so its all good.
- Constantly assessing poo, 1st time checking poo for colour, smells, consistency and basically thinking he was ill everyday, but he was actually fine. 2nd time just change it and move on. Also this time I have pretty much a constant napisan soak on the go.
Maybe I should have been more relaxed but in my mind I needed to do this in depth the 1st time as now I feel I’ve exhausted any possible options and I’m enjoying it a lot more.