1. Working (luckily I do a job share) a chance to wee on your own, drink tea, play mum to some of my work colleagues and try and act like I’m the adult (when did that happen? now I have a child I’m considered to be an adult). Enjoy normal conversations about celebrity bb but I’m actually forcing myself to watch it so I can join in with the conversation (don’t want to feel like I’m out of touch). I try to keep up with all that is cool but I’m not saying things like ‘that’s sic’ because then it would be like I’m trying too hard and that would just be embarrassing.
2. Realising I live in a different time zone to work colleagues/anyone without kids, for example 5am is when they are thinking of finishing up the night my 5am is answering the dummy call. When I ask someone ‘when do they actually play these durex ads I never seen one?’ response ‘that’s because you go to bed too early”. True.
3. Tea, never use to drink it before child now literally can’t move/function without it in the morning but only one cup in the first hour, however if it’s been a night without four hrs of solid sleep it can be as many as needed. In the early days having a cup of tea was the highlight of my day and it was considered a bad day if I couldn’t finish my tea, even if it was cold it was still an achievement.
4. Lists! I bloody love a list, everything must be written down or will be forgotten in about ten seconds but if it’s made it on the list it’s there and will get done. Sometimes I add things to the list I have completed because it’s great crossing it out, isn’t it. There is a fine art to the priority of the list, things that must be done otherwise you will look like a bad mum e.g. sorting out pre school, food, renewing child’s library books (don’t want a black mark at such a young age, these things stick, right?) arranging play dates, keeping in contact with friends (sometimes this only happens with friends with children as they understand if you haven’t seen or contacted them in about 6 months) organising normal day to day activities for child so they don’t grow up in a bubble (still haven’t braved the bus yet). All in all I feel calm when I have list.
5. Spotify, time to escape and lift any mood. When the toddler was a baby I use to listen to this whilst walking out and about until someone said ‘aren’t you taking notice of your child?’ What do they expect? For me to point out every tree, cat, train, bird when clearly they don’t give a shit all they care about is bright twinkly lights, sleeping only on another human and anything that makes a rattlely noise. Now he loves a chat the music is out. However when on the train to work I look forward to my 15min walk to work. I was feeling a need for more christmas spirt I just whipped up Christmas playlist in a matter of mins on the train, done. Or if you know it’s going to be a bad day Dolly tells its best with 9 to 5, I like to say I work 5-9.
6. The team
The team is myself, husband and toddler, now don’t get me wrong a lot of the time some people definitely need to work on their team skills but good to know we are in it together and when it works everyone is happy and we love a family hug when no one has slept for the last 2 years!
7. Mummy blogs, discovered these about a year ago and I can’t get enough, it has literally made me realise I’m not the only one.
8. Parents with older kids, I listen to every word hoping that I will gain answers to questions I haven’t even asked myself yet. Obviously before I had a child I use to make silent judgments on the way I would bring up a child and the classic line ‘it will change your life’ how is it going to change my life, it’s just a baby right? Mat leave, lazy afternoon lunches, watching all those box sets I’ve been meaning to watch, year off result, how wrong was I! I always remember just after giving birth the midwife saying he will need feeding every 2 hrs my response “even through the night? when am I going to sleep?” hence tea and me started a wonderful partnership.
9. ‘Well I have a child’ as soon as this has been said you are excused for a lot of things, tiredness, messy hair, wearing converse pretty much everyday, drunk after 2 glasses of wine, mud/sick on any part of your clothes, unkept fingernails (when would I have time to do these), shopping in boden, always being prepared with things like tissues, paracetamol, raisins, wet wipes in your handbag, saying something that seems very innocent to you but is riddled with sexual innuendos, going to bed at 8:30, bad parking, looking stressed at all times, never buying anything for yourself, wardrobe issues mainly in my case wearing clothes inside out, unlike a childless person I have had to preform the river dance whilst singing the grand old duke when getting ready.
10. Saturday nights in, see I moan about never going out but honestly I love staying in, I’m SO smug when it’s Sunday morning and I haven’t ruined my day with a hangover. I learnt along time ago hangovers and children are not an option and when the hungover over rides the party it’s time to slow down, unless you have a week to recover, like that would ever happen, guilt would set in that I’m a bad mum!